Less is More
Is there anyone out there that felt like they truly rocked their “Covid down time?”
I went from challenge driven, can’t sit still, supermom, job-juggling, multi-tasking, people-person, people pleasing, “the more you do, the more you’re worth” mentality to something I could barely understand. I missed the comfort, stability, and predictability of “knowing” myself and acting accordingly. I had been shaken to the core by isolation, lack of routine, and “fullness” in my life, and I realized that the “me” that I thought was, was not the real “me” at all.
Prior to the pandemic, I had been hiding. Hiding behind busyness…..multiple responsibilities and commitments, dozens of surface relationships, my consistently obsessive workout regimen, cooking elaborate meals, managing family schedules…..there is no doubt that “less” is exactly what I needed, but not to this extreme. Our companies were grounded and my pay checks stopped, as so many others in our community experienced. I was teaching an online class once school went remote and helped our children navigate their own “online school,” which kept me on a bit of a schedule and routine for a while. Initially, I felt charged to make the most of the down time (also known as trying to control the uncontrollable). I swore to write more, do more with my kids, get into the best shape of my life, and on the other side of Covid, would be stronger, closer with my extended family, and more grounded and focused with everything I do with my time. And yet, 6 months later, I found myself with a little less……less muscle, less drive, less focus, less opinion, less connected. Can anyone relate?
This “lesser” feeling crept in, taking over more and more of my joy every day. I became complacent in every area, but I mistook that numbness for being content. My husband loves me the way I am, so why workout? I’ve reached out to my family members and haven’t heard from them, so why continue to force a connection? I have no control over anything, so why try to change anything? Until I felt “the nudge.”
“The nudge,” I received was directly from God’s hand, there is no doubt. It started out a gentle unease about the way things were going, and gradually progressed into an all-out shove, which I desperately needed. My husband and I spent the first 3 months-worth of mornings during the Stay Home order on our front porch. We did devotionals, prayed, and talked about all of the things….it truly was a blessed and magical time! A lot of things surfaced surrounding areas of our lives that God wanted to be different for us. I realized we did actually need less in a lot of areas, in order to be more in others. This did not feel immediate, and honestly took months for me to truly slow down enough to listen. Everything had to become so much “less” in my life for me to not only hear God’s message, but to take action.
Today, looking back at the transformation that has occurred during Covid, I may not have “rocked it,” but I know I’ve landed right where I should be, living more simply, more present, and overall, a lot “less” in order to be “more” for myself and my family. .